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Home > Self-help > Self-help > Positive Thinking is the Best Strategy

Positive Thinking is the Best Strategy

Submitted by: Frankie Picasso


book cover for Midlife Mojo
book cover for Midlife Mojo
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No one wants to go through a trauma or tragedy, but have you ever witnessed an event or looked at someone who had lost a limb or something equally  horrible and thought to yourself, “I could never get through that, I would kill myself first”. If you have,  you are not certainly not alone.  I can tell you with great authority that none of us knows our inner strength until tested, and like everything in our lives, our limits are are always self imposed!

Approximately eleven years ago, I was tested myself and I still find it  amazing how much pain and loss a human being can endure and still fight to be alive. I kept wondering if the next 'crisis' was the one where I lost my mind"? Good news is, it hasn't happened yet!

It all started with a motorcycle accident. I was out riding with some members of my club when a car ran a stop sign and T-boned me. At the time, I was leading our group down a country highway.

When all was said and done, I landed on the side of the road with two broken femurs, a broken pelvis, broken hip, and a host of other injuries.
I ended up staying in the hospital for almost 6 months and during that time, I suffered great loss.
First, I went through a divorce while lying in my hospital bed. I had three kids at home and was worried sick about them.

Then came the loss of my job due to restructuring. At the time, I  was also drummer in a blues band and needless to say, my band moved on without me.  When the accident happened, I was just weeks away from going to Shanghai to race Dragon boats with the Canadian National Masters Team. When I was finally released, a few days before Christmas,  my dog died in a tragic accident and 3 weeks later, the rod that had been inserted into my right femur, broke and I wasn’t able to get surgery to fix it for almost one year. That meant all my physio had to stop and I walked on a broken leg for a year. During this time, the insurance company fought me tooth and nail and at one point I was in danger of all my utilities being turned off and losing my house.
I think you are starting to get the picture, it was a lot of losses to take on, one after the other.

Turning a Negative into a Positive

I have always been an optimist and a dreamer and somehow have always had the confidence in my ability to create my future. I am pretty sure this trait comes from my father. He was a great role model, a survivor and someone who really knew how to recreate his life after things went south.  Some folks think that this is a Pollyanna approach but I assure you it’s not. I could just as easily be negative and stay in victim mode, but what would that give me? Nothing but a whole lot of grief.
Now if you don’t believe that good things will come your way, then YES, you have your work cut out for you, but believe me when I tell you, Being POSITIVE is a CHOICE you can make for yourself. If you want to stay negative, that is also your choice, but it does make it more difficult to achieve good things in your life.  If you need a good role model and don’t have one in your life, than feel free to use me.

I recently started a new radio program titled The Good Radio Network. The programming is all positive and my guests are all people who answered this question, “What can I do to make the world a better place, even if I am ONE person”? These folks make great role models too!

Break from self-imposed limits

Remember above when I spoke about self imposed limits, well if you want to free yourself  from self limiting beliefs then you can use your imagination to create a life of Endless possibility. If you are someone who finds it difficult to ‘envision’ a different reality for yourself then you may need the services of a professional Life or Business Coach.
I began studying coaching while I was in the hospital and when I finally graduated, I did so with the title of Master Coach Trainer. As a coach, I like to think of myself as the ordinary man’s Champion. My job is to help people transform their lives so that they are in alignment with their values and goals. In other words, help them find happiness by by-passing their self limiting beliefs.
I don’t tell people what to do but rather ask a lot of questions. True coaching believes that the client has the answer, the coach has the questions.  Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us, champion us, dream with us and keep pushing us to the other side. Most of us live with self-imposed limits. Society has set us up that way. We are socialized to act and think in a certain way from the time we are born.

Are you Good Little Girls and Boys or Bad?

Children who are often told they aren’t good at something (whether right or wrong) or were called names, find that those labels have deep roots into their subconscious, affecting their self-esteem and self-image. Family members, Teachers, Friends and Lovers all have had their influence on us. The good news is that we can change and repair any damage to our self esteem but it takes work and an acknowledgment that this is something you are ready to do.
The Chinese have two characters for Change. One is Danger - the other Opportunity.  I love this because it is so apt. There are a whole lot of folks who don’t like change. Why? Well I my opinion it’s because of fear. It may be fear of failure, or it might be fear of success, but either way, its debilitating. Change can only happen when we decide to leave our comfort zone and if we DO, then this is where all the amazing Opportunities lie waiting for us.
When I asked myself what most of my clients wanted, the answer was simple really. They wanted a POSITIVE OUTCOME, so I founded an organization designed to bring together the resources necessary for positive change throughout the world and called it The Centre for Positive Outcomes. I believe that too often we bring limited thinking and negativity to problem solving. There are always solutions but sometimes they call for a bit more effort, knowledge and creative thinking than we are willing or able to expend.

Midlife Mojo

My book, Midlife Mojo-How to  Get Through the Midlife Crisis and Emerge as Your True Self, is in  essence, a prescription for change.  The formula for change can apply to any age group, but I decided to write to a midlife audience because I felt that they are often isolated when the “crisis’ hits and wanted to help them understand what it was they were going through and how to figure out what it is they truly want with the time they have left. The book provides a 5 step process for change along with many exercises and questions for the reader, so this is a workbook as much as it is informative. It is also pragmatic and spiritual at the same time.
I believe that the midlife crisis is less about a Crisis and more a metamorphosis that occurs in midlife anywhere from our mid-30s thru 60.  It is different in each individual but there are similarities. While not everyone acts like a bull in a china shop and wakes up at age 45 to purchase a  motorbike, a corvette, and /or leave their families after 20 years and finds themselves a bimbo girl or boy toy, there are many that do, hence the stereotype!  I explain all this in my book, but for now, suffice it to say that this is our wake-up call from the universe that it's time to become our true self. True self you ask? Yes, the person we were meant to be rather than the "socialized self"  we inevitably became as a result of society's rules, pressure from parents, school, etc.  No one changes unless they have too. Many people will stay and tolerate a lot of unhappiness rather than leave their comfort zone to stop it. Since change happens best in "chaos," we have a temporary shake up of our lives in order to move on and emerge as our authentic self.
Frankie Picasso is an Intuitive Therapist, Solution Strategist, Radio Host, Author,  Master Coach Trainer, Animal Communicator, Hypnotherapist and Advocate for a Socially Conscious Planet. Her book is available at Barnes & Noble, iUniverse,, ca, .uk, USA, Canada, UK, and Europe, in hard and soft copy.

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Frankie Picasso is an Intuitive Therapist, Solution Strategist, Radio Host, Author, Master Coach Trainer, Animal Communicator, Hypnotherapist and Advocate for a Socially Conscious Planet. Her book is available at Barnes & Noble, iUniverse,, ca, .uk, USA, Canada, UK, and Europe, in hard and soft copy.

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