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My Best Friend Is a Secret Agent
Submitted by: Richard Clark
CHAPTER 1: “A Confession”
Super Secret Blog #2487: My best friend Chip is a secret agent.
There, I’ve said it.
Chip wasn’t always a secret agent. I MADE him one. That’s right, me, Nort McKrakken.
I did it using my super secret, super complicated micro-thingy that is so super secret that I can’t even tell you what it’s called. Okay, maybe I’ll tell you later. But I’m NEVER going to tell Gert von Brugen in science class. (I’ll tell you about her later too.)
First, a little background: My dad’s kind of famous. You might already know that ‘cause you probably recognized my last name. He’s Colonel Brock McKrakken, head of McKrakken Security Systems.
Dad protects us from everything. That crazy oceanographer who wanted to put the whole city of Vortville underwater? Yep, dad stopped him. That power-mad architect who wanted to turn Vortville upside down? Dad’s elite team of commandos stopped him too.
Dad used to be a real Colonel in the military, so he’s real gung-ho about pushups and crew cuts and getting up at 4AM. He’s always wanted me to be just like him when I got older, going to boot camp and running 20 miles with a 200-pound backpack on and stuff. But I can barely carry my five-pound backpack without breaking out in a sweat on the way to school.
I’m actually the smallest kid in my class. That’s partly because I skipped two grades since I’m super smart. (I’m 10 years old and already in Grade 6.) But I’m just small, let’s face it.
But I’ve always wanted to make my dad proud of me, even though I knew I’d never be a soldier like him. So I figured, maybe I could use my super-smartness to help him with his security business! Maybe I could show him how to fight crazy bad guys in a super-cool sciency sort of way!
That’s why I invented the C.H.I.P. (That’s the name of the super secret, super complicated micro-thingy I mentioned earlier. Told you I’d tell you later.) It stands for Computerized Heroic Incredible Person. I know, that sounds stupid – that’s why I shortened it to C.H.I.P. Anyway, it’s a tiny little microchip that attaches to one of your teeth, and it sends signals up to your brain to program you to be able to do anything!
The thing is, there was no way I was going to try this on myself. Do you think I’m crazy?! A chip sending signals to my brain?! What if it made me freak out or something?! No, I needed someone else to try it on.
Someone like my best friend Chip.
Lester “Chip” Munson has been my best friend since kindergarten – mainly ‘cause nobody else wanted to be my friend. But Chip is the friendliest kid in the world. Everybody loves him. He’s really big compared to other kids in our class, but that’s probably because he got held back two grades. (He’s 14 years old and only in Grade 6.) But he was the biggest kid in his class even before he got held back.
But the main reason people like him is because he’ll do anything you ask him to. He’ll eat a worm on a dare. He’ll dive into a mud puddle with all his clothes on – and with them off too. (He got his nickname “Chip” by chipping a tooth doing a crazy stunt like that.) He’ll even eat a whole apple, including the core. (Yeah, a lot of the crazy things he does involve eating.)
And yes, he even tried out my super secret, super powerful micro-thingy for me. After all, what are friends for?
CHAPTER TWO: “My Plan to Save Vortville”
This is how it all started.
My dad had just stopped that power-mad architect from turning the whole city upside down, and everybody at school was talking about it. People were patting me on the back, saying they wished they had a cool dad like mine. It was a good day ‘cause just the day before those same kids were punching me in the arm.
I kind of wished my dad beat a bad guy everyday. That way I’d never get punched in the arm again.
But then Corey Smertz jumped me in the cafeteria! He wasn’t as happy as everyone else about my dad saving the town because his house got smashed in the process. In fact, my dad’s commando team smashed half of Vortville while trying to stop the power-mad architect guy from smashing the other half.
“Collateral damage, son. There’s no avoiding it,” he always says. (And he says it a lot.)
Luckily, Chip was there to save me from Corey Smertz. Chip is pretty much the only kid in school bigger than Corey, so he picked Corey up and held him in the air until he calmed down. Chip never fights anybody, he just holds them in the air with their arms swinging and their feet kicking until they calm down.
I wished Dad had been able to do the same thing with that power-mad architect guy.
All this got me thinking – I wished there was some way to stop bad guys without having to destroy everything all the time. What our city needed was a secret agent kind of guy, someone who could sneak in places and use his smarts to stop bad guys from doing bad things in the first place.
But that kind of secret agent guy doesn’t really exist. It’s just in the movies.
I mean, someone would have to create someone like that. Then I realized…
That someone was me!
I rushed home right after lunch, skipping Social Studies and P.E. (Trust me, I didn’t miss anything.) I’m pretty sure Gert von Brugen saw me go, but I didn’t care. (Told you I’d get to her later too.)
In science class, Gert is always trying to do better projects than me, but she never does. She even tries to sabotage my projects!
So I guess she thought I was rushing home to get a head start on my next invention for class or something, but she was only half right. I was rushing home to invent another invention alright, but it wasn’t going to be for science class.
It was going to be to save Vortville!
* * * * *
Richard Clark has worked extensively as a screenwriter and story editor, both in LA and Toronto. His credits include writing or story-editing over 150 produced TV scripts for Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, YTV, Teletoon and many foreign networks. He’s also written four TV movies for Showtime Networks, optioned several feature screenplays, and worked as a director and editor. In 2010 he was nominated for both a Gemini Award (Canadian Emmy) and a Writers Guild of Canada Screenwriting Award, and in 2012 another WGC award. Get my book free here!